


If I Had My Time Again

by skittle479



Category: Groundhog Day - Minchin/Rubin, Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 18:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13553397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skittle479/pseuds/skittle479
Summary: Rafael finds Groundhog Day a little repetitive.





	If I Had My Time Again

**Friday 2nd February 2018**

 

Rafael groaned.

 

_ What was that horrible noise? _

 

He wanted to bury his head further into the pillow.

 

_ Why would anyone choose  _ **_that_ ** _  sound to wake up to? _

 

It was nothing short of scandalous. Only as Rafael struggled out of the clutches of the sandman, did he realize that the sound was coming from beside him. Without moving his face from the warmth of his pillow, he grappled with the phone on his bedside table, fingers fumbling to stop the obnoxious alarm, finally finding relief in silence.

 

Another day, another dawn, almost a purgatory of facing off against the dregs of humanity. He rolled over, grimacing as a beam of light fell across his sleep-filled face.

 

_ Wait? Why was it light outside? _

 

Rafael lifted his phone to eye level, illuminating the time.

 

_ 9:00am! _

 

He sat bolt upright, eyes wide, no trace of slumber left on his face. It couldn’t be! He looked again, then at the clock hanging on the other side of the room. There was no mistake - and yet there had to be! Rafael wanted to contemplate the cause of this confusion, but it was abundantly clear that he was going to be late for his meeting with the medical examiner. He had intended on spending some time reviewing their latest case, but that was just going to have to wait.

 

Never had Rafael been more grateful for his slightly compulsive behaviour of selecting a suit the day before. He donned it quickly and rushed out of his apartment, only to stop dead in his tracks as an onslaught of raindrops assaulted his face. Now he understood why there were no nearby ubers; he sighed, the subway seemed to be his only option.

 

Rafael marched into Hogan place with a scowl fit for Lucifer rising from his first fall from heaven. His pants legs were soaked at the seams and he was sure his phone was purposely trying to sabotage him. He practically flung his briefcase at Carmen as he barked at her to call the M.E.’s office to tell them he would be late and to find him a ride over there.

 

“I’ll be in my office cleaning up this mess,” he finished, skulking off to his office, not waiting to hear the words from Carmen’s half open mouth.

 

The counselor stopped short as he caught sight of an unfamiliar woman perched on his desk rifling through his files. She was petite and elegantly dressed, long chestnut locks tied up in a neat ponytail. 

 

“Mr. Barba,” she smiled in greeting and extended a hand. Her eyes twinkled like stars.

 

“Have we met?” Rafael frowned but returned the gesture.

 

“Yes. I'm Dr. Clara Andrejevic, the M.E.”

 

Rafael stared blankly, not letting go of her hand.

 

“I performed the autopsy for the Connors boy,” she said. “You prosecuted the case?” She looked at him as if to say  _ any recollection at all? _

 

“Oh, yeah…” Rafael remembered the case, but why couldn't he recollect her beautiful face? “Nice to m- see you again. Wait… what are you doing here?”

 

“Well I assumed you've noticed the rainstorm out there. I thought it would be easier on both of us if we didn't have to make multiple trips across the city,” she shrugged.

 

“Good thinking,” Rafael conceded, falling into silence.

 

“Shall we discuss the details of the case?” 

 

“Yes, please take a seat.”

 

“Umm Mr. Barba?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I think we’ve been sufficiently introduced, you can let go of my hand now,” she blushed, the twinkle still in her eye.

 

Rafael wasn’t sure whose face was more red at that moment. He dropped her hand like a stone and pulled out a chair, gesturing at it so that she would sit.

 

“Thank you. So, this latest victim...”

 

She didn’t give him a chance to utter any embarrassed apologies and immediately got down to business, he liked that.

 

“Miss Hanson?” he provided at her pause.

 

“Yes, I examined her at the hospital after she regained consciousness. She had the same markings on her tongue. Identical to Miss Taylor and Mrs Kleiser, the deceased victims. It looks like a brand, burned.”

 

“Have you ever seen anything like it before?”

 

“No… thank heavens.”

 

The disgusted look that crossed her features made Rafael want to snatch the file from her hands, but that would do no good. Before he could say anything further, his office door flew open.

 

“Barba! Are you just going to give this guy a plea deal?” Benson certainly knew how to make an entrance. Carmen stood behind her looking sheepish and apologetic as she closed the door behind the Lieutenant.

 

“Hey, Liv! Nice to see you too!” he said sarcastically. “You know Dr. Andrejevic, I presume.”

 

Liv nodded a greeting at the doctor. “Barba, what’re you doing to put this guy away?”

 

“What am  **I**  doing?” his voice rose with incredulity. “You haven't brought me any evidence to link this guy to the victims, except for Miss Hanson's sketchy I.D. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't offer the defense a deal?”

 

_ Why was she always bringing him these obscure cases? _

 

“Rafael, I've been doing this job for nineteen years, trust me, I know he did it. I can see it in his eyes, the cocky son of a bitch might as well have copped to it.”

 

“Well  _ ‘might as well have copped to it’ _  just isn't going to cut it in court. What do you expect me to say?  _ Lieutenant Benson said he did it, so you ought to incarcerate him on her say so?’ _ ” Rafael’s voice rose an octave, as it often did when he was feeling particularly pissed.

 

Olivia narrowed her eyes and turned her back heading for the door. “Figure it out, Barba,” she snapped over her shoulder.

 

“The two of you seem to get on well,” the good doctor smiled audaciously. 

 

“That's really helpful. Can we get back to-”

 

“Counselor!” Detective Carisi stuck his head through the door, all smiles.

 

“Oh what now?” he muttered. Rafael didn't think he could feel more exasperated than he did in that moment.

 

“Heads up, Calhoun is out there looking for you. Lieu is trying to head her off.” Carisi invited himself into Rafael’s office, much to his chagrin.

 

“Pity she couldn't do the same for you,” Rafael muttered.

 

“I thought I could try and help with the case,” Carisi smiled benignly at Rafael’s disdain. He turned to the M.E. “Hi there, I’m Detective Dominick Carisi Jr.! But you can call me Sonny,” he said charmingly, offering her his hand.

 

“I’m Clara Andrejevic,” she replied, smiling at Sonny.

 

Rafael hadn’t expected it, but seeing Dr. Andrejevic locking eyes with Sonny, made his blood boil. “I think we’re more than qualified to handle this case,  _ Detective _  Carisi,” Rafael put as much emphasis on detective as he possibly could.

 

Carisi rolled his eyes. “Nice to meet you, doc!” he winked at her before seeing himself out.

 

“That was uncalled for,” Clara commented coldly.

 

“Probably, but it was incredibly satisfactory.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “I take it you don't need  _ me  _ anymore either. I'll see you in court.”

 

Without further ado, Clara collected her things and left him to his own devices. Rafael sighed, he worked better alone anyway.

  
  


Several hours later, Rafael found himself sweating slightly, as he presented the evidence to a jury of his peers. 

 

“Mr. Ryerson, could you tell the jury where you were on the night of Miss Hanson’s brutal attack?”

 

“And which night would that be?” Ned Ryerson sneered at him.

 

_ Touché! _

 

“The night of February 2nd. Don’t you remember? I thought a man like you would have an excellent memory.” Rafael put on his most patronizing voice. It really wasn’t easy getting under this man’s skin, his wit was almost akin to his own, but Rafael could tell he was chipping away at that well-structured exterior. 

 

“This is ridiculous,” he muttered under his breath, but Rafael had been at this too long not to catch it. 

 

“Ridiculous? Two women slaughtered and another maimed and scarred and you think it’s ridiculous?” 

 

“I did nothing to those witches!” Ryerson spat out the words like he was disgusted with the thought of the victims. The jury began to murmur. 

 

“Your Honor,” Calhoun tried to speak, but Rafael simply talked over her, anger at a boiling point. 

 

“Witches?” Rafael repeated shrilly, “They aren’t witches, Mr. Ryerson. They’re women! Women  _ you _  raped, mutilated and murdered.”

 

“Objection,” Rita Calhoun was on her feet as quickly as her stunning suit would allow. “Your Honor, move to strike this whole exchange, Mr. Barba is badgering my witness and inciting the jury.” 

 

“Your Honor, he made that declaration of his own volition-” 

 

“Save it counselor, the exchange is so stricken. Jury members, please disregard the A.D.A. and defendant’s remarks,” she turned to see Rafael’s red face, and simply gestured for him to go on. 

 

Rafael gritted his teeth, before swallowing his pride and continuing. “ _ My question _  is, where was Mr. Ryerson on the night of February 2nd?”

 

“At home.”

 

“Can you prove it?”

 

“No, can you? How do you expect me to remember what I was doing on a random night back in February?” Ryerson sneered.

 

Rafael could feel the vein in his temple throbbing as he struggled to control his temper. “What were you doing on night in question?”

 

“Your honor, this question has been asked and answered,” Calhoun cut in.

 

The rest of the trial flew by in a haze of fury and Rafael found himself sitting at the prosecutor’s table with his face in his hands. He wished he could cover his ears instead as the jury read out the verdict.

 

_ Not guilty _ .

 

He wandered across to Forlini’s alone to drown himself in his failure. 

* * *

**Friday 2nd February 2018**

 

The sound of a klaxon pierced Rafael’s ears, making him open his eyes wide with irritation. He grumbled, reaching for this phone. Surely he had fixed this monstrosity of an alarm the previous day, why was it insisting on plaguing his waking state with its loathsome tone? He frowned as he gazed at his phone.

 

_ Why did it read 9:00am? Was this some kind of joke? _

 

He looked to the wall clock for confirmation and groaned. How could this have happened two days in a row? Had his loss the previous day not been bad enough? Now today was off to an equally as arduous dawn. Only it wasn't dawn, Rafael thought as he clambered out of bed, wincing as his feet touched the cold floor. He squinted as a ray of light blinded him. Why oh why hadn't he shut the curtain fully? He hadn't been that drunk, had he? Maybe that's why he couldn't shake the strange feeling of déjà vu which was plaguing him. He was sure he had worn this Zegna suit yesterday.

 

He was already late, a few seconds to look out of the window wasn't going to delay proceedings by very much. And he wasn't going to make the same mistake as yesterday, he would find some more sensible shoes - and an umbrella! He scoured his phone, looking for an uber; none, again.

 

_ Why was his luck so bad at the moment? _

 

As Rafael walked down the street to the nearest subway, he glanced around him taking in the surroundings. He quickly side stepped around a man in a hot dog costume who tried to shove a flyer into his arms. He leapt through the closing doors of the train, gripping a bar to steady himself and catch his breath. As the journey progressed, Rafael noticed that some of the faces seemed familiar, he had seen them yesterday! The woman wearing the crazy yellow raincoat was sitting in exactly the same spot, dripping water to the man in a suit that Rafael wouldn’t be caught dead in. And he was sure that screaming child was as inconsolable yesterday. Rafael fled from the train quickly, feeling the start of a migraine at his temples.

 

“Morning, Carmen!”

 

“Good morning, Mr. Barba,” Carmen answered, not quite meeting his eyes. She reached over and handed him a file. “The M.E. is waiting in your office, she thought it would be easier for you both to have your meeting here.”

 

Rafael frowned, his hand on the door handle. “M.E.?”

 

“For the Ryerson case.”

 

“But … wait, didn’t we-” he swung open his office door to see Dr. Andrejevic perching on his desk.

 

“Mr. Barba!” she smiled, jumping up off the edge of his desk.

 

“Dr. Andrejevic,” he greeted her, frowning in confusion at the severe case of déjà vu he was experiencing.

 

“You remembered!” she exclaimed, surprise evident on her features. 

 

She looked as much of a vision as she did yesterday. Had it been yesterday? The events of this morning felt eerily familiar.

 

“Yesterday wasn't too long ago, I'd like to think my memory hasn't deteriorated that much in my advanced years.”

 

It was the doctor's turn to frown. “Yesterday? I assure you Mr. Barba, even though it may not feel like long ago to you, the Connors trial was well over a year ago.”

 

“No, I meant the Ryerson case.”

 

“Yes,” a fleeting look of confusion crossed her face. “I thought it would be easier on both of us if we didn't have to make multiple trips across the city.”

 

“But-” Rafael stopped, was he still sleeping and this, he's just dreaming it? Or it's a prank and everyone's in on it!

 

“Well I assumed you've noticed the rainstorm out there. I just thought-” Dr. Andrejevic stopped, misconstruing Rafael’s confusion as irritation. “I hope you don't mind me showing up uninvited.”

 

“Not at all, doctor. In fact, it's good thinking.” Rafael decided to play along, still unsure about what was happening.

 

“Shall we discuss the details of the case?”

 

“Yes, please take a seat,” Rafael pulled out a chair, gesturing at it so that she would sit.

 

“Thank you. So, this latest victim...”

 

“Miss Hanson?” he provided at her pause.

 

“Yes, I examined her at the hospital after she regained consciousness. She had the same markings on her tongue. Identical to Miss Taylor and Mrs. Kleiser, the deceased victims. It looks like a brand, burned.”

 

“Have you ever seen anything like it before?”

 

“No… thank heavens.”

 

Rafael looked up expectantly, in time to see Lieutenant Benson march into his office uninvited. 

 

“Barba! Are you just going to give this guy a plea deal?” she demanded.

 

“Morning, Liv!” he answered, remarkably managing to leave any sarcasm out of his tone. “You know Dr. Andrejevic, I presume.”

 

Liv nodded a greeting at the doctor. “Barba, what are you doing to put this guy away?”

 

“We’re working on it. You haven't brought me any evidence to link this guy to the victims, except for Miss Hanson's unreliable identification. Why shouldn't I offer the defence a deal?”

 

“Rafael, I've been doing this job for nineteen years, trust me, I know he did it. I can see it in his eyes, the cocky son of a bitch might as well have copped to it.”

 

“We’re working on it,” Rafael repeated, rolling his eyes. This felt more than familiar, not just because it had happened the previous day, but many more times than he cared to recount. Lieutenant Benson barging into his office without cause to berate him on his inability to do his own job.

 

“Figure it out, Barba!”

 

Rafael refused to dignify her with a response.

 

“The two of you seem to get on well,” Dr. Andrejevic spoke up.

 

“Like a house on fire,” Rafael answered, a deadpan look on his face.

 

_ What was happening today? _  Rafael couldn’t seem to wrap his mind around the events that were unfolding.  _ Did he have the power of premonition? Because that would come in very useful in the future! _

 

“Counselor!” A familiar voice found its way to Rafael’s ears. He had forgotten about Carisi. “Heads up, Calhoun is out there looking for you. Lieu is trying to head her off.”

 

“Thank you, Carisi-”

 

“I thought I could try and help with the case!” Carisi interrupted, his enthusiasm drowning out Rafael’s weak attempt to dismiss him. He turned to the Dr. Andrejevic. “Hi there, I’m Detective Dominick Carisi Jr.! But you can call me Sonny,” he offered her his hand.

 

“Detective, that will be all, thank you,” Rafael said loudly and poignantly.

  
  


Hours later, he waited for the courtroom to clear completely before skulking out via the back entrance of the courthouse. Facing the vultures waiting on the steps was unthinkable.

 

What could he say? Other than that he had not done his job...again. Even with some foresight, he had let a murderer, a rapist, walk free on the streets of his city to continue his spree of heinous crimes.

 

The thoughts swirled through his scotch addled mind, as he tried to drink himself into oblivion at Forlini’s. His mind always took him to these dark places at times like this, he couldn't help but feel responsible for all the poor women that this monster would -

 

“Oh stop feeling so sorry for yourself!”

 

Rafael whipped his head around so fast that the room didn't stop spinning even though his head had stopped moving. He recognized the owner of that melodious voice.

 

“You need to ease up on drowning yourself.” 

 

Dr. Andrejevic finally came into focus as she sat down on the stool beside him. Snatching up his glass from his loose grip, she downed the glass, effectively cutting him off.

 

“What are you doing here?” he slurred.

 

“Taking you home,” she answered, gathering up his coat and briefcase.

 

“Oh really?” Rafael smirked, cocking an eyebrow in what he thought was a seductive manner.

 

“Not even in your wildest dreams, Barba,” she said, pushing him into a cab, slamming the door shut on his face and slapping the top of the car to tell the driver to hit the gas.

* * *

 

 

**Friday 2nd February 2018**

 

Rafael’s eyes flew open at the sound of the blaring alarm, his heart pounding in his chest. 

_ No... no... no… this couldn't be happening!  _ He pushed back the covers and swatted at his phone, growling with frustration as his phone fell to the floor, the klaxon continuing to fill the room with it’s siren sound. 

 

_ What the hell was happening to him? This couldn’t be real, could it? _

 

Rafael scooped up his phone and dressed haphazardly, the whole time glaring at the clock face in his room which insisted on reading 9am. He didn’t bother looking for an uber today, instead grabbing an umbrella and ran out the door of his apartment building.

 

Rafael scurried along the street ducking away from the flyer the hot dog man shoved in his direction. He barely squeezed through the train doors as they closed angrily. He had hurried, why couldn’t he make this damn train on time? There they were again yellow raincoat lady with her excessive dripping, Mr. Bad Choice Suit and the inconsolable toddler. Rafael’s eyes darted around the carriage, flitting from one person to the next, sweat pooling at his collar as he watched the same events unfolding before his very eyes.

 

His anxiety had reached a crescendo as he entered his office and he ignored Carmen’s attempt at a greeting, making a beeline for his office, where a certain doctor was sure to be waiting. And sure enough, there she was.

 

“Dr. Andrejevic,” he started, barely letting the surprised M.E. compose herself after startling her with his abrupt entrance. “It’s a pleasure to see you again. I’m glad to see you, it will save us from making numerous unnecessary trips between here and your office.”

 

“Mr. Barba, I’m surprised you remembered!” she smiled, gracefully recovering from her surprise. “Shall we have a look at the case?”

 

“Actually, if you don’t mind, I would quite like to discuss something with you, doctor.” He hesitated for a moment before making a decision to spill his guts. Where was the harm, if history dictated, she wouldn’t remember their conversation the following day anyway. “Please, take a seat.”

 

“How can I help, counselor?” 

 

_ Where should he even start? _

 

“Have you ever experienced déjà vu, doctor?”

 

“Of course. It's a common experience counselor.”

 

“Do you know what causes it?”

 

“Recent studies have shown it to be anomaly of memory, which creates a distinct impression that an experience is ‘being recalled’. Why do you ask?”

 

“Well…” Rafael started to confess his secret but changed track mid sentence. “I have a client who been experiencing something like that, but on a larger scale.”

 

“I'm sorry, what exactly does that mean?”

 

“He says he is ‘stuck in a time loop’. That he is ‘reliving today over and over’ and he is trapped. Crazy huh?”

 

“Well, Einstein showed that time is relative and varies for different observers depending on your speed through space. He described it as a “fourth dimension” and that gravity can bend time, effectively theorizing the existence of "bridges" through time and space - often referred to as wormholes.”

 

“Really?” Rafael asked incredulously.

 

“These wormholes are often triggered by some kind of wibbly wobbly timey wimey event.”

 

Rafael finally caught the mirth in her eyes.

 

“Mr. Barba, most likely your client is a paranoid schizophrenic suffering from delusions of grandeur or has a form of epilepsy and the aura related to the seizures gives the sensation of déjà vu.”

 

If Rafael hadn’t been so distressed, he would have most certainly enjoyed her gentle teasing. The rest of the day passed by in a familiar daze.

* * *

 

**Friday 2nd February 2018**

 

The following… or should he say that same day, Rafael found himself asking for help from an unexpected source.

 

“Counselor! Heads up, Calhoun is out there looking for you. Lieu is trying to head her off.”

 

“Carisi.”

 

“I thought I could try and help with the case!” He turned to Dr. Andrejevic. “Hi there, I’m Detective Dominick Carisi Jr! But you can call me Sonny,” he offered her his hand.

 

“Nice to meet you, Sonny.” 

 

Rafael clenched his fists as he watched them shake hands. He needed to separate them before carrying out his agenda.

 

“Doctor, I think we’ve discussed the case in sufficient details. I’ll see you in the courtroom.”

 

Clara looked taken aback by Rafael’s sudden dismissal. She smiled, disappointment evident behind her hazel eyes. “It was nice to see you again, counselor.”

 

As much as Rafael regretted his decision, he needed information and he knew he wouldn’t feel comfortable quizzing Carisi if she was there.

 

“See ya later, doc!” Carisi called after her, winking as she turned to give him a little wave.

 

He was regretting this immensely but Rafael was curious about Carisi’s ideas. Contrary to popular belief, he respected the young detective’s breadth of knowledge and interest.

 

“So, Barba, need some fresh eyes on the evidence?” Sonny interrupted Rafael’s thoughts.

 

“Carisi, you know stuff about science.” It wasn’t a question.

  
“Suuuuure,” Sonny replied hesitantly. “Whaddaya need?”

 

_ Always eager to please. _

  
“Hypothetical question, if you were stuck living the same day over and over, how would you get out?”

  
“Time loops? What does that have to do with-”

 

“Carisi, for once, could you just answer the question without waffling?”

 

Rafael felt slight pang of regret at his abruptness but he didn’t have the time to waste on stories about the Carisi clan. On second thought, he had all the time in the world, he just preferred not to hear about it.

 

“How to get out of time loop… I guess that depends on what caused it...  karma… physics… God… spells, magic…”

 

“Carisi!”

 

“What? Do I look like a shaman? Why are you asking me this?”

 

Rafael scrutinized Sonny’s face, weighing up the pros and cons of revealing his secret to the younger detective.

 

“What would you do if you were stuck in one place, and every day was the same, and nothing you did mattered?”

 

“Sounds a lot like growing up on Staten Island.”

 

Rafael glared at Sonny, “I should have known better than to ask you for advice.”

 

“That was you asking for advice? Rafael, what are you talking about?”

 

“I’m saying that I’m stuck. In a time loop. Today... this day… it keeps repeating. I wake up everyday and it’s always February second , and there's nothing I can do about it.” Rafael fell silent following his outburst, not quite meeting Sonny’s eyes.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Yes,” Rafael answered quietly.

 

Sonny looked at Rafael carefully, trying to scrutinize his expression. Was he telling the truth, was he playing a prank, or had the pressure of the job finally addled his brain? But there was something in Rafael’s face that told Sonny he was in earnest.

 

“Tell me what's happened so far.”

 

Rafael proceeded to regale the events of the past few days.

 

“Maybe you need to win your case and get justice?” Sonny finally shrugged. “Of course, the alternative is learning to be less of a dick.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Com’on Barba, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about.”

 

Rafael glared at Sonny, knowing deep down that his statement had a ring of truth.

 

To try and break the sudden tension, Sonny rambled on. “Although, it's kind of an opportunity.”

 

“How's that?”

 

“Well, think about it. If you know in advance that everything will be going back to the way it was, then... you could do anything... for as long as you want without having to worry about consequences!”

* * *

 

**Friday 2nd February 2018**

 

Armed with this new insight, Rafael took a new outlook on his plight, or rather opportunity. He had the ability to  _ foresee _  the future, to make changes, to try things without consequence or repercussions!

 

“Good morning Dr. Andrejevic! It’s wonderful to see you again!”

 

“Mr. Barba, you remembered!”

 

“How could I forget a beautiful woman such as yourself!”

 

Clara chuckled nervously. “That’s very kind of you to say.”

 

“In fact, I can’t believe I missed the opportunity of taking you to dinner!”

 

“Well neither of us seem any worse for wear.”

 

“What do you say we remedy the situation?”

 

“I’d say that I don’t date people I work with, professionalism and .... stuff. Sorry.”

* * *

  
  


“Goodbye Carisi,” he called after Sonny as he left Rafael’s office.

 

He turned to Clara, who laughed and said, “he reminds me of a cat I had when I was a kid, so bouncy.”

 

Rafael smiled, “so, you want to go and grab a coffee?”

 

“Don’t we have a trial to prepare for, Mr. Barba?”

 

“I’m always ready,” he answered cockily.

 

“I guess you won't be needing my help then. See you in court,” Clara snapped her file shut and left the room.

* * *

 

“Do you want to grab a drink to celebrate putting this scumbag away?”

 

“Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?”

 

“Touché.”

* * *

 

“How about I treat you to a nice thick steak when this trial is over?”

 

Clara stared at him disdainfully before replying, “I'm vegetarian.”

* * *

  
  


How many times would she have to turn him down before he took a hint? Rafael decide to take a break from being a scorned suitor and made his way to 5th Avenue, the Empire State Building. He had always admired its majestic stature, but had never found the time to ascend to its dazzling heights. Now he had all the time in the world.

 

The Manhattan skyline was breathtaking, the sunlight glistening across the many window panes which lines the concrete jungle. But it didn’t take long for Rafael to regret his decision, as he closed his eyes and took deep breaths to stop the vertigo that infected his mind after he made the mistake of looking downwards. 

 

_ Oh well, he would try something new tomorrow! _

* * *

  
  


It was getting easier and easier to avoid Olivia’s calls, elude the patrol cars that she sent after him day after day as he dodged his duties and evaded the SVU detectives.

 

Everyday there was an infinity of things to do, and change, and try. Theatres galore, the view from Ellis Island was spectacular despite the dark cloud that covered the city, he had never had the time to spend so much uninhibited time in The Met. Rafael went to his first baseball game, hired a fancy car and drove up to Sam’s point and hiked past the ice caves.

* * *

  
  


“Hey Carisi!” Rafael called as the detective reached the doorway.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Rafael walked up to Sonny and said quietly, “you know, you’ve improved a lot over these years. I’m proud of your work. But I’m only telling you this because you won’t remember it tomorrow."

 

Rafael shut the door on the bewildered man’s face. 

* * *

  
  


“Barba! Are you just going to give this guy a plea deal?”

 

“Liv, for once in your life, could you just butt out? The way you act, you’d think no one knew how to do their job around here. _I'm_  the prosecutor, I’ll do things how  _ I _  see fit!”

  
  


“Witches? How do you know they were witches if you had never met them?”

 

“Women like that, they are all witches!”

 

“Women like that, what do you mean?”

 

“Sluts, women who think they can walk around half naked and be offended if someone so much as looks at them.”

* * *

  
  


“I’m sorry Mr. Barba, I’m afraid I’m going to have to declare a mistrial,” the judge declared.

 

Rafael sat at his desk and clenching his teeth, while Rita Calhoun smirked at him from the defence table.

* * *

  
“She remembers it differently, Mr. Ryerson.”

 

“She doesn't remember me, Mr. Barba.”

 

Rafael’s frustration was starting to affect his judgement.

 

“Mr. Ryerson!” Rafael slammed his hands down on the railing in front of the defendant. “You raped and burned three women! So brutally in fact that two of them died. What do you have to say for yourself?”

 

He knew this was a hail mary strategy but Rafael was fresh out of ideas.

 

Day after day the verdict remained the same, Rafael’s desperation led him to formulate wilder and more outlandish strategies. But everyday the foreman of the jury rose from his seat, the judge asked ‘what say you?’ and the answer was always ‘not guilty.’ 

* * *

  
He needed to clear his head, get away from the endless cycle of death and destruction and his failure to remedy the injustice. He knew what he wanted, the one thing that he found relaxing and joyful. But there was no way he could wrangle anyone into talking their yacht out, not for the lack of trying. This is how Rafael found himself standing at the bow of the Staten Island ferry watching Lady Liberty as she grew in size and then shrunk, over and over, just like this endless day. 

* * *

 

 

**Friday 2nd February 2018**

 

Rafael picked up his phone and slammed it against his bedside table, silencing it once and for all. For today at least. Rolling over, he closed his eyes and let the darkness consume his consciousness.

 

For many days, Rafael slept or drank, ignoring his ringing landline and the shouts of Lieutenant Benson at his door. His only regret was not getting to see  **her** face. Maybe tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, perhaps the day after.

 

He lost count of the number of days he spent wallowing in misery in the warmth of his bed. Eventually, sick of the sight of the same four walls, Rafael emerged from his apartment, wearing his suit and tie. In the repeated days, there had been one thing… one person, who had kept him sane. He had grown to care for the good doctor in a way that he hadn’t felt about anyone in years. Ever since… Yelina. He preferred not to dwell on that aspect of his past. Dr. Andrejevic was a woman he was inexplicably drawn to but she had made it clear that she was out of his reach. But he would continue to work with her, because what else did he have? It had become abundantly clear that SVU was his purpose.

 

The klaxon that sounded each morning didn’t bother him as it once had, it had become a part of his life, it had ceased to have meaning, other than the indication of the start of this godforsaken day. In the past, Rafael had suspected that it had been his sound which had trapped him in his purgatory, but he had long since given up on the idea that he could use it to break free from his punishment.

 

Rafael ventured into Hogan place after what felt like a long absence, to find that time really did stand still. He stood a short distance away, mentally trying to prepare himself for the inevitable. As he stared ahead, his attention came into focus on his secretary, his always present, dependable and loyal. Carmen’s attention was seemingly focussed on her computer screen, but her gaze was glassy and with a flick of her wrist, Rafael watched her wipe a tear from her eye.

 

“Carmen,” Rafael took a step towards her.

 

“Mr. Barba!” Carmen shot up from her seat, flustered by his sudden appearance. “I’m really sorry, Dr Andrejevic, the M.E., she’s waiting in your office. I told her you’d be … but she insisted and I -”

 

“Carmen,” he interrupted. “It’s ok, I knew she was coming. Are you alright?” He scrutinized her face, traces of redness still etched across her eyes.

 

“I'm fine,” she mumbled unconvincingly.

 

“Carmen,” he repeated her name gently. “What happened?”

 

“My grandfather, he had a stroke, he’s in hospital.”

 

“Then you should go. Why are you here?”

 

“I didn’t think … you need … I can go?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Rafael watched as his assistant scurry away with his hand on the handle of his office door.  _ Had Carmen really thought that he wouldn’t have let her visit her sick grandfather? He wasn’t that callous... Was he? _

 

Pushing the door open, he brought his thoughts back to Clara, there she was, he felt as though a lifetime had passed since he had last seen her. 

 

“Mr. Barba!” she smiled.

 

“Clara,” he smiled back at her.

 

“You remembered!” she exclaimed.

 

“How could I forget?”

 

“I hope you don’t mind me intruding, but I thought it would be easier on both of us if we didn't have to make multiple trips across the city.”

 

“Not at all,” he said dully, taking a seat at the table.

 

“So, Miss Hanson,” Clara started, pulling her notes from her bag. “I examined her at the hospital after she regained consciousness and she had the same markings on her tongue. Identical to Miss Taylor and Mrs. Kleiser, the deceased victims. It looks like a brand, burned.”

 

Rafael nodded, having heard these details many times before.

 

“We know that already. I need something new. Something that will help win the case. Something we haven’t seen before. This isn’t going to cut it. I need… I just need-” Rafael sighed, burying his face in his hands.

 

“Well, I’m sorry to tell you this but this is all I have. I can’t gleen any intent from the victims. I can only tell you what they tell me.”

 

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just … I don’t know how to win this case. Everything I think of has failed. I’m out of ideas.”

 

Clara studied the rather despondent looking man in front of her, he wasn’t entirely making sense, but suddenly he was no longer the arrogant lawyer he usually portrayed. Instead, she saw a man who cared about getting justice for three violated women. 

 

“Maybe a change in scenery will do you some good.”

“What do you suggest?” Rafael didn't feel optimistic that his surroundings would have an impact on his strategy in court. 

 

A mischievous glint flashed across Clara’s eyes, glancing out of the window, she jumped up and grabbed her coat. “Let’s go!” She had one foot out of the door before turning back to give Rafael an exasperated look. “Are you coming?”

 

“Fine,” Rafael huffed, picking up his still damp coat.

 

“Oh and bring your umbrella, just in case.” Clara’s voice floated into his office from the corridor.

 

Before he knew what was happening, the doctor had dragged him to Grand Street Station and they were sitting on the D train.

 

“This is your idea of change of scenery?” Rafael scowled, pulling his coat closer around his neck as the wind whipped around him as he glared up at the large sign above him. “Coney Island?”

 

“I take it you’ve never been?”

 

“What gave you that idea?”

 

“You’ve been missing out, counselor. Come along.” 

 

Without warning or explanation, she grabbed his hand. Rafael felt a shiver shoot through his spine, she had never voluntarily touched him before and her skin felt so soft, her hand slipped inside his perfectly.

 

“Your hands are freezing,” he noticed.

 

“I have just the thing to warm them up!” Clara lead him over to a small food vendor and purchased a two small boxes. She shoved one into Rafael’s grasp before unwrapping her own. Rafael’s nose crinkled slightly.  “What's wrong? Don't big bad A.D.A.s like fudge?” Clara asked, looking mildly amused by his reaction.

 

“Maybe the fat ones do. I think it's alright,” Rafael smirked.

 

They walked along the pier in silence, feasting on the warm fudge. “Mr. Barba?”

 

“Please, you can call me Rafael.”

  
“OK  _ Rafael _ , I have a question, about something you said earlier.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“You said everything you thought of has failed. What did you mean?”

 

“Well this is going to sound a little crazy, but I’ve lived today before, many times actually. It’s like a time loop, and the day just keeps starting over and over again, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.”

 

“That sounds  **more** than a little crazy.”

 

Rafael chuckled.

 

“I can prove it.”

 

“Today is the second time we’ve met, right?

 

“Correct.”

 

“I know things about you, things about your past.”

 

“Wait, are you stalking me?” She looked thoroughly scandalized.

 

“What? No!” Rafael cursed himself at his poor choice of wording. He really was losing his touch. “These are things that you can’t search online, these are things you have told me.”

 

“And when did I do that?”

 

“Today! Well the other today.”

 

“The ones you’ve lived before,” Clara repeated in clarification.

 

“When you were ten, you had a cat. Her name was Kit, because you loved kitkats!”

 

Clara looked him feeling perplexed. “Rafael, if what you say were true, wouldn’t you take it as an opportunity?”

 

“An opportunity? For what? To spend an eternity failing? I'm just going to lose, what's the point?”

 

“Well with that attitude you're never gonna win. I mean, if I had my time again, I’d open all the doors I’d never looked behind before, and oh the things I’d taste and try.” She paused, her eyes glazed over as she stared wistfully at the ocean. “Speaking of things I’d try, there is a ride I’ve always been too scared to try. Maybe you could do it with me?”

 

“What’s that?”

 

Clara turned and pointed at the rickety looking rollercoaster, the Coney Island Cyclone.

 

As a pimply teenager lowered the bar across his and Clara’s lap, Rafael was severely regretting his acceptance of her proposal. He glanced to his right to notice that the good doctor was regretting her own decision as well; her hands were tightly gripping the handlebar, knuckles turning white. Without thinking, Rafael put his hand over hers. As his skin made contact with hers, he froze, realizing that every previous attempt at physical contact with this beautiful woman had ended in disaster. To his surprise, Clara twisted her fingers between his causing him to let out a little gasp.

 

“It’s going to be fine!” she whispered as the tiny carriage started hurtling forwards, more for her own benefit than for his.

 

Rafael smiled and took her hand in his. “I know.”

 

As they ascended, Rafael felt hypnotized by the clunking gears, blood rushing through his vessels, making his heart pound and face flush. Was it fear or excitement? It had been a long time since he had been on a ride like this. Suddenly all the noises stopped and Rafael felt his stomach being left behind as gravity made the car accelerate downwards, the wind slapping his face during the descent.

 

It was only then that he realized that Clara was clinging to his arm, in fear Rafael thought initially, but her face told him a different story. He felt like the world was standing still as he watched her smile spread and turn into a blithe laugh. It had been so long since he had seen such unadulterated joy on someone's face, it radiated from her like a beacon and Rafael knew that he wanted to spend everyday basking in that light. 

 

He barely noticed that the car had stopped and the bar had released them. As he clambered out, he offered Clara his hand, which she took willingly, nay gratefully. 

 

“Rafael,” she said breathlessly, face flushed with excitement, hair sticking up in every direction. “Thank you.” Without warning, she reached up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. 

 

Rafael face, already pink from cold, had turned red after the ride, was now a bright crimson. “It's you I should be thanking,” he stuttered. “It's been awhile since I've felt this-” Rafael stopped, what word was he looking for?

 

“Alive?”

 

Rafael nodded. “I think it's time to head back into the city.”

 

It was time he stopped feeling sorry for himself and do the job he had worked so hard to get. He vowed he would win this case.

* * *

 

**Friday 2nd February 2018**

 

As the alarm sounded, Rafael no longer felt the stress of rushing to work. And although he had perfected his new routine, he decided to take a detour that morning. During his days “off”, he had explored the area in which he lived and had discovered a wonderful bakery that gave off the most appetizing aromas, which mingled with the sweet scents from the neighboring florist giving anyone that passed an odorous orgasm. He chose to visit these two establishments on his route to work.

 

Arriving at Hogan Place, he made a beeline for Carmen’s desk and placed a bouquet of yellow roses surrounded by purple irises. His silent arrival followed by the sudden thud of the plastic vase on her desk made Carmen jump out of her seat, not giving her any time to hide the redness of her eyes or the tear that escaped from one of them.

 

“Mr. Barba! I-”

 

“Carmen, is everything alright?” his tone was gentle, his eyes sincere.

 

“My grandfather had a stroke, he’s in hospital.”

 

“You should go to your family. Here,” he pushed the flowers towards her. “You should take these.”

 

Carmen looked at him with confusion. “Mr. Barba, I can’t take these-”

 

“Yes, you can. Please,” he pushed them further across the desk into her arms.

 

“Thank you,” Carmen whispered, eyes welling up with tears. Just as they were about to spill over, she turned around and grabbed her coat, making a show of putting it on. She grabbed the bouquet and started towards the exit. “Oh!” she exclaimed, turning suddenly, “Dr. Andre-”

 

“Carmen, it’s okay. I know. Go,” he urged her out of the door. “I hope your grandfather gets well soon,” he said, knowing it was a formality, but he truly meant it. He waited until she was out of sight before entering his office.

 

“Dr. Andrejevic!” he greeted Clara, who had made herself comfortable on his desk, peering into his files.

 

“Mr. Barba, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop-”

 

“That’s quite alright, I have kept you waiting,” he said offering her his hand in greeting. “Thank you for coming! Good thinking by the way, this is much easier than both of us making multiple trips across the city.”

 

“I’m surprised you remembered me!” she smiled.

 

“How could I forget?”

 

“Well the last time we met, you seemed rather ... well-”

 

“Self-centered? Egotistical? Arrogant?”

 

“Your words, not mine,” Clara shuffled her feet, looking awkward.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve heard them all before,” he hadn’t meant to make her feel uncomfortable. Changing tracks, he said, “I picked up some fudge on my way to work, I thought you might like to share it with me.”

 

Clara looked up at Rafael. “I’d like that. Thank you,” she took a piece of fudge and nibbled on it. “Mmmmm, this is amazing.”

 

Rafael smiled and pulled out a chair, motioning for her to sit. “Shall we?

 

“So, Miss Hanson,” Clara started, pulling her notes from her bag. “I examined her at the hospital after she regained consciousness and she had the same markings on her tongue. Identical to Miss Taylor and Mrs. Kleiser, the deceased victims. It looks like a brand, burned.”

 

Rafael nodded. “I’m not sure this evidence is going to be convincing enough for a jury.

 

Right on cue, Olivia made her appearance. “Barba! Are you just going to give this guy a plea deal?”

 

“Liv I know he’s guilty, you know he’s guilty, but I still have to be able to prove it to a jury.” He shook his head, “I’m not sure I can with what I have. I still have a few hours. If I haven’t figured it out by then, I’m offering a plea.”

 

There was a finality in his tone that made Lt. Benson hold her tongue. Well for Rita’s sake, I hope you do.

 

“You handled that well, I thought she was going to tear your head off when she walked in here.”

 

“Olivia means well, her heart is in the right place. It’s just that sometimes her ideals get in the way of-”

 

“Your job?” Clara smiled knowingly.

 

Rafael chuckled and nodded his head.

 

“Counselor!” Carisi made his entrance. “Heads up, Calhoun is out there looking for you. Lieu is trying to head her off.”

 

“I’m sure she will do a great job of that,” Rafael said confidently.

 

“I thought I could try and help with the case,” Carisi said, the lilt at the end of his voice suggested that he was asking rather than suggesting. His eyes fell on Clara. “Hi there, I’m Detective Dominick Carisi Jr! But you can call me Sonny,” he smiled charmingly at Clara.

 

“Nice to meet you, Sonny,” Clara answered politely. “I’m Clara.”

 

Try as he might, Rafael just couldn’t quite push away that little green monster inside of him which wanted to rip Carisi limb from limb for even speaking to Clara. He took a deep breath to stop himself from snapping. She hadn’t told him that he could use her first name.

 

“Grab a file Carisi, a fresh set of eyes never hurt anyone.”

 

Sonny’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wow, you must really be stumped!”

 

“Don’t push it, Carisi.”

 

The trio sat in silence in Rafael’s office, the only sound that could be heard was the ticking of the clock his mother had gotten him as a gift.  _ ‘Perhaps you can be on time for once,’ _   she had said as she handed it over. The stillness was often punctuated by outbursts from Sonny with suggestions on trial strategies, only to be shot down by Rafael’s knowledge from personal experience with Rita Calhoun’s dirty tactics.

 

“Instead of just shooting down all my ideas, you could try suggesting something? These women are depending on us!” Sonny sounded slightly exasperated.

 

“He called them witches,” Rafael said nonchalantly. 

 

“Come again?”

 

“Ryerson, he called his victims witches.”

 

“When?” Sonny asked, looking confused.

 

“On the first day!”

 

“The first day?”

 

“Yeah...never mind…it doesn’t matter. Just … trust me. He sees them as witches!”

 

Carisi sat back looking baffled. After a few moments of silence and gazing into a law text, he muttered, “maleficos non patieris vivere.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. Exodus 22:18,” he said, without lifting his head.

 

“That’s it!” Rafael jumped up excitedly, startling Carisi into knocking over his coffee, but Rafael didn’t care. “The brand, they’re Roman numerals! 22:18. Carisi, you're a genius.”

 

“Say that again, I think I’m hallucinating,” Carisi muttered. 

 

“The definition of ‘witch’ in Biblical times is a bit murky, if the Salem Witch Trials are any indication,” Rafael rifled through a bible absently, missing Carisi’s remark. “Then this passage basically refers to any independent-minded woman who refuses to submit to a man.”

 

“You have a copy of the bible?” Carisi asked, looking surprised.

 

“Don’t you?”

 

“Yeah, but…” Carisi started, but Rafael had already disappeared through his office door, attempting to put on his coat while he walked.

 

Carisi looked over at Dr. Andrejevic, who shrugged and held up her hands. She grabbed her coat and followed him.

 

“Mr. Barba! Rafael, wait!” Clara called after him as he left Hogan Place. Rafael stopped and turned to face her. “What’s going on?” she panted as she caught up with him.

 

“I have an idea.”

 

“Care to share?” she asked as they fell in step with each other.

 

Rafael pondered his response for a moment. “It’s a secret. Let’s just see how it plays out?”

 

“How do you have so much confidence in yourself?”

 

“Most people refer to it as arrogance,” Rafael quipped.

 

“But you believe in yourself, I wish I could do that.”

 

“I believe in getting justice. And I believe in  **you** .”

 

Clara stopped short. Rafael had taken a few steps forward before he noticed that she was no longer at his side.

 

“Really?”

 

“Clara, you are one of the most passionate people that I have met. The way you talked about the autopsy findings... you know exactly what to say. I trust you. Miss Hanson trusts you. Just tell the jury like you told me this morning. Come on,” he held out his hand.

 

For a second he thought she hesitated, but then wordlessly she slipped her hand in his and walked forwards, never quite meeting his eyes. As they walked on, Rafael swore he could see the blush on her cheek out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't dare turn his head lest the spell was broken and she would take back the hand that was freely given.

 

He wasn't sure exactly when they unconsciously unlinked their hands, somewhere between meeting Olivia and avoiding Calhoun’s sneering gaze. Before he left Clara outside the courtroom for opening arguments, he turned to her and said, “I've seen you testify before. You're nothing if not professional. I know you care about these women and you're intelligent, which means I know you'll say all the right things. Just imagine it's you and me… at Coney Island, eating fudge and riding the Cyclone. How does that sound?”

 

“Like the perfect date,” Clara muttered under her breath, not realizing that Rafael was close enough to catch every word.

 

“You got this! Let's see if I do.”

 

On the way in, he passed the victim, who was sitting beside Olivia. “Ready?” Rafael asked.

 

Miss Hanson, whose name incidentally was also Rita, bit her lower lip and nodded hesitantly. Ever since the attack, her voice had changed due to the damage to her tongue and for the first time, it occurred to Rafael that her silence wasn't due to fear, but shame.

 

Rafael sat down on her other side. “Look, I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel. But I know that I need your help to lock Ryerson up. What he did to you was horrific, show the jury what he did to you. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

 

As he vacated the seat, Clara took his place. He was glad that she took Rita hand comfortingly, they were finally a team. Rafael strode into the courtroom where Calhoun and her client were already seated. For once, he felt different, today felt different, there was a steely resolve in his eye that hadn't been there before.  Not that Rafael noticed at the time, it was only a realization that came to him later. He wasn't doing this for the win, the glory, not today.

 

His opening argument was nigh on flawless. Rita Hanson’s tongue, despite it's twisted and charred appearance, was looser and she exuded an air of defiance as she sat more upright and answered Rafael’s questions with confidence, despite the lisp and raspiness of her speech.

 

“Take your time Miss Hanson,” Rafael said gently, placing a glass of water in front of her. “And could you please tell me, in your own words, what happened to you on the night of February second?”

 

Rita recited her account of the attack in gruesome detail, stopping at crucial points to take a sip of water and clear her throat. This had been Rafael’s idea,  ‘ _ show the jury how this has changed your life _ ,’ he'd told her. Rafael took the temporarily silence to sneak a glance at Calhoun, who was scowling at him. 

 

“Miss Hanson, I'd like you to do one last thing for me. Could you please show the jury what Mr. Ryerson did to your tongue.”

 

There were several gasps and grimaces, from both the jury box and the gallery as Rita protruded her tongue for the world to see. She didn't keep is exposed for long, unable to stand the stares.

 

“Thank you, Rita,” Rafael said gently. “That will be all.”

 

“Miss Hanson, let me first say that I'm sorry for your troubles.” Rita Calhoun rose from her seat, the picture of elegance and grace. Who could tell that behind her beautiful face nested the mind of a shark?

 

“My tr’bles? You c’ll being waped and hav’ng my tong’ burned, tr’bles?”

 

“You're right, it's horrific. I can't even begin to imagine the blinding pain, the violation of your body. How did you deal with that?”

 

“Objection, your Honor. Relevance?”

 

“Your Honor, how Miss Hanson felt during her attack is very relevant to this case.”

 

“She was brutally defiled and branded like cattle and you want her to hash out the details for what? Your pleasure?” No matter how many times he had faced Rita using this tactic, it never failed to infuriate Rafael.  _ Calm down, she is playing you! _

 

“Not much more so than the account you had her provide, Mr. Barba,” Rita said languidly.

 

“Overruled. Miss Hanson, please answer the question.”

 

Rafael sat down taking deep breaths to regain control of his temper. He looked at his witness, trying to reassure her with his expression, he nodded, as if to say ‘go ahead, answer her’.

 

“The pain was unb’ar’ble... I tr’ed to scream but he covered my mouth... I c’uldn't breathe, so I stopped, I kept my eyes cl’sed, ‘n tr’ed to pret’nd I was som’where els’. When it was too much I passed outh.”

 

Rafael watch the disgust on the jury’s faces, he should have been pleased by the impression Miss Hanson had made, but he was smart enough to know what was coming next.

 

“Earlier you said you were attacked from behind, and you closed your eyes and tried to pretend you were somewhere else, is that correct?”

 

“Yeth.”

 

“So how exactly is it that you saw my client's face? When he was behind you and you had your eyes closed?”

 

“It wath him. I thaw him!” Rita cried angrily.

 

“Through your eyelids?” Calhoun was certainly good at her job, she could poke holes in the most airtight of alibis.

 

A tear slipped down the victim's face. “I thaw him,” she whispered.

 

“Thank you, Miss Hanson. I have no more questions your Honor.”

 

Rafael sighed as Rita Hanson rushed out of the courtroom, he couldn't fail her again.

 

“The prosecution calls Dr. Andrejevic to the stand.” Rafael met Clara’s eyes as she took a seat in the witness box. She could see the distress in his eyes, and forgetting her own anxieties, she answered his questions without hesitation.

 

“Each of the victims had the same mark branded on their tongues. Unfortunately Miss Kleiser and Miss Taylor weren’t able to survive the trauma that they suffered.”

 

“So you were able to confirm that the mark was made by the same weapon. In fact, we have been able to identify the weapon.”

 

“Objection! No such weapon has been entered into evidence!” Calhoun was on her feet in an instant.

 

Rafael looked at Clara, eyes wide with confusion. Calhoun was correct, he had no such evidence. Right on cue, Sonny burst through the doors of the courtroom. Rafael’s eyes darted between Sonny and Clara.  _ What had they done? _

 

“Your Honor, we'd offer People’s Exhibit D into evidence,” Sonny stepped forward holding a plastic bag containing what appeared to be a metal stamp.

 

“Mr. Carisi, I don’t see you entered as second chair?” the judge said sternly.

 

“Sorry your Honor,” Sonny looked rather bashful.

 

Rafael took the bag from Sonny and held it aloft. “People’s Exhibit D your Honor.”

 

The judge sighed. “Mr. Barba, this evidence should have been entered into the court’s records during discovery.”

 

“But your Honor, we have only  _ just  _ discovered this evidence.”

 

“At the defendant’s residence your Honor!” Sonny piped up again.

 

“Mr. Carisi, I will ask you not to speak again. One more word from you and I will have you removed from my courtroom.”

 

Sonny sat down meekly.

 

“Sidebar your Honor?” Calhoun finally voiced her annoyance.

 

The judge motioned for them to approach. 

 

“This was found at the defendant’s residence, with markings identical to the burns on our victim's tongues,” Rafael said, not bothering to keep his voice lowered.

 

“Your Honor, this evidence hasn't even been analyzed, we have no proof of chain of custody. It's just too late in the proceedings to allow this to be admissible.”

 

“I'm afraid Miss Calhoun is correct?” the judge looked at Rafael apologetically. “The weapon is out.”

 

“In that case,” Rafael scowled. “I'm ready for the next witness.”

 

_ It's ok, he thought, he would be ready for this tomorrow. _

 

Rafael watched Calhoun question her client, but he was too busy to concentrate on their interaction, he was planning his own cross examination, how to goad the defendant into saying exactly what he wanted. He needed to ensure things played out exactly as they had that first day.

 

“Mr. Ryerson, could you tell the jury where you were on the night of Miss Hanson’s brutal attack?”

 

“And which night would that be?” Ned Ryerson 

 

“The night of February second 2017. Don’t you remember? I thought a man like you would have an excellent memory.” Rafael put on his most patronizing voice.

 

“This is ridiculous,” he muttered under his breath.

 

“Ridiculous? You think it’s ridiculous? You raped and branded three innocent women!”

 

“I did nothing to those witches!”

 

“Witches, Mr. Ryerson?”

 

The look on Ryerson’s face told Rafael that he had realized his mistake, but it was too late. Rafael walked to his desk and grabbed the bible from his briefcase, flipping it open to the page he had found earlier.

 

“Mr. Ryerson, could you read the highlighted passage?”

 

“Your Honor, what is the relevance of this?” Calhoun interrupted.

 

“Just expanding on the defendant's words your Honor.”

 

“I’ll allow. Go ahead Mr. Ryerson, please read the passage.”

 

“Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live,” Ryerson mumbled.

 

“Could you say that more clearly, so that everyone can hear you.

 

Ryerson gritted his teeth and raised his voice. “Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.”

 

“Exodus 22:18. 22,18, which I believe is represented by roman numerals on this brand,” Rafael held up the photographs of the three women’s burned tongues. Is that correct Mr. Ryerson?”

 

No answer.

 

“Would you like to plead the fifth, Mr. Ryerson?” Rafael said mockingly. “Nothing to say now do you?”

 

Still no answer.

 

“We don’t actually need an answer, your Honor. The prosecution rests.”

 

Rafael had to rethink his whole closing argument, but he was nothing if not quick on his feet. Something which had been drilled into him from a young age, making excuses to his father, outsmarting bullies, being top of his class in law school. As the jury was dismissed, he took refuge behind one of the large pillars outside the courthouse, staring out at the rain which had started up again. He reflected on how the trial had gone, today and all the todays that had come and gone. Would he ever make a difference?

 

“Rafael?” Clara’s soft voice penetrated his thoughts.

 

“Hey. I just wanted to tell you that you were great up there today. I’m impressed at how you and Carisi managed to pull off finding the brand that bastard used.”

 

“It’s not like it was admissible.”

 

“No, but I’m certain it swayed the jury’s opinion.”

 

“You’re the one that figured out the meaning in the first place.”

 

“I just wish we knew how this was going to turn out.”

 

“Actually, that’s why I’m here. The jury’s in.”

 

“Already?” Rafael was shocked. “But they’re never-” he stopped himself, remembering that he hadn’t told Clara about the loop this time round. This was the first time the jury had made a decision so quickly.  _ Was there really hope? _

 

"Will the jury foreperson please stand? Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?”

 

"We have, your Honor.“

 

Rafael felt like he was watching things play out in slow motion, he felt droplets of perspiration dripping from the back of his neck, his heart pounding against his chest. He clenched his fists, how long did it take to read one little phrase? Finally the judge said, "What say you?”

 

“We, the members of the jury, find the defendant Ned Ryerson guilty of two counts of murder in the first degree and one count of rape.”

 

Rafael let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding, he slumped back in his chair, shoulders relaxed. He’d done it. No, they’d done it. He turned to see Clara and Sonny sitting in the gallery, huge grins plastered across their faces.

 

Waiting until the courtroom had emptied, Rafael started to pack his briefcase. Rita, the victim had thanked him gratefully, Olivia had clapped him on the shoulder and Sonny had approached him with a ‘ _ nice work _ ,’ which he had returned with ‘ _ you too Carisi _ .’ As he turned to leave, he noticed Clara still sitting in the gallery.

 

“You’re still here,” he still felt surprised that she had stuck around.

 

“I wanted to personally congratulate you, and to thank you.”

 

“It’s you I should be thanking, if it weren’t for your testimony, I don’t think we could have done this.”

 

“How about we get a drink to celebrate  _o ur  _victory?” 

 

Before he knew it, they were sitting comfortably in Forlini's, Clara was proposing a toast and he was clinking glasses with the woman who had once thrown a drink in his face. He couldn't believe things had changed so dramatically.

 

“You know, I'm a little surprised that you suggested this,” he admitted. 

 

“Don't you normally celebrate after a win in court.”

 

“Yes, but truth be told, when I saw you this morning, I got the distinct impression that you … well didn't like me very much.”

 

“Well seeing as we're making confessions, you're right. I didn’t. But don't worry, you changed my mind.”

 

“I'm glad.” Rafael fiddled with his drink for a few moments before voicing his thoughts. “So I was thinking, earlier today, when I mentioned Coney Island, you sounded like you liked the suggestion. And I thought maybe you'd like to join me? We could get fu-”

 

Rafael had no chance to finish his sentence as Clara grabbed the lapels of his Zegna jacket, her lips landing firmly on his. Caught completely unawares, it took a moment for Rafael to return the kiss.

 

“Sorry that was entirely unexpected. Almost tanking a high profile and a kiss all in one night. What's come over me?”

 

“Yeah, slow down, will you?” Rafael chucked at his own little joke.

 

“I mean we hardly know each other”

 

“What do you mean? We worked on the Connors case!” Rafael joked.

 

“I liked today better.”

 

“Me too,” he smiled.

 

They sat in sweet silence, enjoying each other's company and for the first time in a long time, Rafael felt alive. 

 

“So are you going to ask me out on a real date or not?” Clara finally broke the silence.

 

“Of course. Meet me at the courthouse, tomorrow at 11?” he said on a whim.

 

Clara smiled. Her happiness gave him a sudden pang of sadness, knowing that he wouldn't experience tomorrow.  _ Look on the bright side Rafi, play your cards right and she'll kiss you again tomorrow. _

* * *

__

**Saturday, 3rd February 2018**

  
Like clockwork, Rafael’s klaxon resounded through his room at 9am. He rolled over and recoiled at the beaming sunlight which glared through his curtainless window. 

 

Wiping the sleep from his eyes, Rafael padded across his room to investigate. He squinted out at the bright sunlight, paralyzed not only by its intensity, but the distinct lack of thunder clouds and raindrops.

 

_ What was happening? Could it possibly be? _

 

Rafael ran around to his bedside table, grabbing his phone. 

 

_ 9.06am Saturday 3rd February 2018. _

 

Rafael stared down at his phone for a good ten minutes, periodically checking different sources of the date, online newspapers, the news forecast on his television. They all concurred with each other.

 

Maybe he should go to the office just to be sure, he thought. He looked around, but his Zegna suit was nowhere to be found. Wait, hadn't he hung it up on the back of his wardrobe? Yes! There it was! Rafael had never been so overjoyed at seeing a slightly crumpled suit.

 

Rather than finding another suit, Rafael selected a burgundy round necked jumper and a pair of jeans. If it was just another loop day, he had a spare suit in the office, but if, and Rafael could do nothing but hope, if it really was Saturday, he had a date, with an incredible woman at Coney Island! Maybe he ought to take a scarf, it was still February afterall. 

 

Out of habit more than anything else, Rafael headed to the subway, through the deserted streets. He looked around the empty blue seats, basking in the peace. Hogan Place seemed to exude the same essence of calm as the subway that morning. Carmen was nowhere to be seen and he wondered how her grandfather was doing.

 

_ Should he send her a text? _

 

As he pondered the question, Rafael ventured into his office. He pushed open the door and was met with a stillness that was almost disappointing, before he remembered that he would be enjoying the company of the now absent doctor in no time at all.

 

In fact, no time was approaching accuracy with dangerous speed.

 

_ 10.51am. Where had the time gone? _

 

He dropped the file, heading out to the courthouse. He had worked too hard and waited too long to miss this. Everything he had learned about this woman endeared her to him. Rafael knew that his experience of a person based on one day of their lives didn’t mean that he knew everything about her, but he relished the thought that he now had the opportunity to find out. And there was no harm in starting with a good impression, he thought, smirking.

 

Rafael caught sight of Clara well before he reached the courthouse, she sat alone at the base of one of the pillars, staring dreamily across the street. She looked relaxed, the stress he had seen in her face yesterday seemed to have melted away.

 

“Good morning,” he smiled, sitting down beside her.

 

“Morning, Rafael,” her voice sounded silvery. “I brought you some coffee.” She reached over and produced a Styrofoam cup full of still steaming liquid caffeine.

 

_ Marry her _ , a little voice in his head screamed.

 

“Thank you. Exactly what the doctor ordered,” he quipped and took a warming sip.

 

Clara laughed quietly, her voice tinkling like fairy bells. “You know, of all the times I've stood on top of these steps, I've never taken the time to appreciate the beauty of our city.”

 

Rafael followed her gaze out at the sun drenched architectural beauty that surrounded them and smiled. Today was going to be a beautiful day.

 


End file.
